I was going to come on here and write a reaction to Adrian Chen’s article, but then I read this piece from fellow Gawker contributor John Scalzi and realized he pretty much said what I was going to say.

A few brief thoughts though:

While I think there are instances in which internet anonymity is valuable and indeed necessary, I must admit that I generally approach anyone in my particular industry who protects their real world identity with a certain amount of skepticism.  If you have something to say that doesn’t involve whistle blowing, insider info, or a risk to your own personal safety, I have to wonder why you can’t put your name to it.  I support people being able to spew nonsense on the interweb, but, as Scalzi notes, this is not Constitutionally covered freedom of speech.

I find myself increasingly annoyed with the attitude in American culture that people should not be held accountable for their actions.  Even if this Reddit case was a free speech issue, freedom of speech does not equate to absolution of consequences. You post creepy pictures on the internet and do a crap job of protecting your identity while doing so? The onus is on you when you lose your job, not the guy who outed you.

Most importantly, it is issues like these that make me long to return to my academic roots. When I was in graduate school, the focus of my studies increasingly became the ethics of identity in virtual spaces.  I was going to examine this through the world of online poker, where multi-accounting, ghosting, account selling, and anonymity all come into play.  What made poker such a great space to investigate the ramifications of these identity issues is because there are real world consequences at stake in the form of money.

There is no money on the line in the case of Violentacrez, but there is a sense of raised stakes. When someone pretends to be a girl on a forum or lies about their attractiveness on a dating site, the effects likely won’t be far reaching, so we never really dwell too long on the behavior. In this instance, and in the instance of online poker, there is much more on the line, so these larger questions about what our rights on the internet are get the attention they deserve.

We don’t have any answers still though. I did my research in 2007. This story broke last week and the extreme reaction from Redditors and Gawker supporters show you we don’t have any resolutions yet.  What the conflict boils down to is this: people are still trying to approach the internet the way they do the real world. It is another issue poker on your computer illustrates perfectly. Rules like “one player to a hand” are easily enforceable in a casino, but online, monitoring something like that is virtually impossible.  Some suggest the solution is to accept these differences and change the rules accordingly.  But for others, the comfort of the corporeal and the familiar is something they hold onto perhaps because this still-young online culture is changing as fast as the Reddit frontpage.

I don’t know if life begins at conception, but I tend to operate as if it does because I can’t come up with any clearer starting point I am comfortable with. To me, viability isn’t a good definition. To suggest there is just suddenly a day in a pregnancy where a baby is “alive” doesn’t work for me.

So here is my question: If you don’t think life begins at conception, how do you determine confidently when life begins?

I’m too pragmatic to be an academic. I’m too reserved to call myself an artist. I lack the killer instinct to do business. I detest the obvious, but have trouble being anything but literal. I can be quippy, but have trouble eloquently developing an argument.  I like creatively expressing myself, I just don’t think I have much to say.

Where does that leave me?

As a web content provider.

My friend and I have frequently hashed out an argument about grocery store pick-ups. I maintain the belief that hitting on people at a grocery store is strange and something I find extremely off-putting. I would even go so far as to say I think it a social faux pas.

My friend disagrees, suggesting this hang up with someone approaching me in the freezer section is my issue.  I see his side, but every time the discussion comes up, I bring up the subject of safety. And every time I bring up the subject of safety, my friend chuckles at the notion that I think I am going to be accosted in the middle of Ralph’s.

When I read this popular blog post on {UnWinona}, my mind immediately went to the grocery store discussions.  For this woman has tapped into exactly what I was trying to say.  I go through my life and these intrusions from men with questionable motives are pervasive and unavoidable. In fact, what is remarkable to me about this blog’s story is just how unremarkable the story is. Every woman I brought the story up to had a similar tale.  We all echoed the sentiments of the author–this is frightening and scary, but it is a fact of life for most of us.

But what does this have to do with the well-meaning man in the cheese aisle?  Well you see, like she said in her final thoughts, I don’t want to give this man the benefit of the doubt.  I don’t want to be polite.  I just want to buy my low calorie string cheese without having to mentally plan an escape route, frantically search for the nearest employee, or try to subtly reach for my car key. 

And maybe it isn’t fair that I take those steps when a man approaches me at the grocery store.  I am being judgmental. But guess what? I don’t care. Because in the greater scheme of things, I am hard pressed to believe that the guy who thought I was picking out my bananas in the produce section in such a way that was so alluring he couldn’t possibly *not* talk to me really has all that much to offer me. So yeah, there is a small chance I missed out on Prince Charming in the cereal aisle, but if it means I can avoid yet another instance dealing with a creeper and having those feelings of fear and frustration and helplessness that this blogger brings up, I am totally fine with that.

It isn’t fair that I assume any male travelling solo and approaching me unprompted is an assailant until proven otherwise, but stand up comedienne Ever Mainard gets where I am coming from:

Yes, Ever and I may be judgmental and unfair, but is it any fairer that these men get to encroach on my life without my permission?  You might say I can simply politely convey to these gents I am not interested, but as this blogger notes, it isn’t that simple. Because you are hedging your bets to say, “Excuse me, I’d like to shop uninterrupted please.”  It makes you a bitch. It makes you the villain because this person infiltrated your day uninvited.  The feminine thing to do, the polite thing to do is offer a pleasant response and try to scoot away. But even then, I am going to spend the rest of my trip focused on my peripheral vision, who is in the parking lot, and where the nearest exit is.  For you, man at the grocery store, you are paying a compliment with your approach. For me, female on her own, you are a safety risk. 

Plus, who hits on someone at the grocery store? Honestly? Explain to me the series of events that leads to this happening. Who goes lurking around supermarkets looking for a mate? What are you even looking for? Are you surveying their groceries? Is it how they pick out the discount items and the store brands? You’re just that turned on by their thriftiness?  When I am roaming the aisles in my gym clothes with no make up on, consumed with the Nutrition Facts of my Wheat Thins, I don’t really get what would be appealing about me to someone else.

More importantly, I cannot fathom what about my presence suggests I want to be bothered.  It does not take Sherlock Holmes to deduce I don’t want to chat. I haven’t made eyes at him, my gaze stays on the floor, I am not dressed to impress. If you can’t figure out I don’t want to be bothered, you are either not bright enough for me to waste time conversing with…or up to no good.  

That goes for you too, man at the gas station. I’m pumping gas, staring at the ground, not hanging out at singles night at a bar.

Same to you man at the coffee shop who does not understand that book and headphones equals do not disturb.

And you, man in the drive-thru behind me? Don’t think I forgot about you. I can only hope you have learned asking a woman in a car at a Carl’s Jr where she is going and if you can follow her is not an acceptable means of introduction.

What all of you guys can’t seem to grasp is that the onus is not on me to convey that I don’t want you to approach me in situations outside of a bar or a party or some other social gathering where conversing with strangers is to be expected.  The onus is on you.  You need to realize I want to be left alone.  You need to understand that unless you have received an abundance of body language to the contrary, we woman don’t want to talk to you in the subway, at the DMV, while running full speed on the treadmill at the gym, or while I am shopping for dental floss.  

I already walk with my head down, pretend I am engrossed with or on my phone, and wear garish colored headphones so there is no mistaking the fact they are there, though plenty of times they are purely to ward people away and there is nothing playing through them. I’ve even worn fake wedding rings, “uglied” myself up, pleaded with male friends to pretend to be my boyfriend, pleaded with my female friends to pretend to be my girlfriend, and feigned not knowing English.  Short of putting on a “Don’t Eff with Me” sign on my person, I don’t really know what else I need to do to convey you need to leave me alone.  

So thank you UnWinona for putting into words why I immediately go on the defense when a man approaches me unprovoked.  Thank you for getting it.  And thank you for putting this incident to paper because I do think it will get a few more people to realize why I just want to shop uninterrupted.

Seeing “The Avengers” was an interesting test for me. You see, I hate comic book movies. Original Batman with Adam West aside, I just don’t get into comic book movies. In fact, I find them annoying and frustrating. I also don’t like Scarlett Johansson. I have never seen “Thor”, “Iron Man”, or “Captain America”.

But I love Joss Whedon. Love. And where he goes, I follow. So, I saw “The Avengers”. I didn’t hate it, but I do have some thoughts I have to unleash somewhere, so here goes:

1. Is it just that Jeremy Renner looks that strange? Or is this the camera just not accurately capturing his face? Every time he is on screen, I am wholly preoccupied at how strange his proportions and features are. I cannot process that he is playing a character. All I see is a shrunken head. There’s no way he actually looks like that.

2. What is going on with Bruce Banner’s pants? Much like Renner’s strange skull, I couldn’t wrap my mind around those hideous high-waisted pants they put poor Mark Ruffalo in when he is in his purple shirt/brown pant ensemble. I tried to find a picture of said pants on the internet and could come up with nothing, so I can only hope the studio saw the error of its ways and are trying to erase the pants from cultural memory.

3. Those pants are the only things I didn’t like about the Hulk. Perfect casting, Ruffalo nailed it. Considering two feature films have very publicly failed at putting The Hulk on screen, I was impressed. And the moment where Hulk grabs Loki mid-tirade and beats the tar out of him? Classic Whedon and my favorite moment in the entire film.

4. Who exactly is Cobie Smulders playing in this movie? As someone with genuinely no knowledge of the comic book, I had to take to the internet to learn she is apparently Maria Hill, A S.H.I.E.L.D. agent with no discernable powers or personality. I am totally on board with more Cobie Smulders in my life, but I didn’t get how invested I was supposed to be in her. Is she a Samuel L Jackson sounding board and that’s it? There was a weird shot of her when Banner walked by that I thought they might fall in love, but that was apparently a bad read on my part.

5. Do you think Tom Hiddleston had to try on the absurd helmet in a screen test before he got that part? I don’t think any old guy can pull it off. Also, I learned there is going to be a Thor 2?? Having not seen Thor, perhaps I am reading this wrong, but isn’t The Avengers basically “Thor 2”?

6. Um…who was that guy at the end of the movie? I am not joking when I say I think it was Hellboy?? I thought Hellboy was a good guy though….and lived on Earth, not the other side of space…I think I might need to take to Google again.

7. I know I prefaced this by saying I hate comic book movies, but I think I might actually enjoy the first Iron Man and Captain America. Both Chris Evans and Robert Downey Jr are remarkably charismatic.

8. The tones of 9/11 in the Manhattan destruction scene really threw me. I found the 9/11 throwbacks to be pretty insensitive and gauche. It really surprises me considering Whedon is usually such a master of tone and this one was so very inappropriate.

9. Why is this movie two and a half hours long? Moreover, why can I not see a movie these days that are less than two hours long? We can tackle Gone With the Wind in three hours. We don’t need two Breaking Dawn movies, we don’t need two Kill Bills and we can certainly trim the fat on this fluffy comic book story. 

10. This last one might be long, you’ve been warned. Let me set down my soap box, hop upon, and give you my two cents on transmedia storytelling. Like many of you, I enjoy the fact that a sprawling story can cover a multitude of media. You can tell a story with a book, a comic book, a movie, and a video game and that fosters a lot of creativity and innovative storytelling.

So here is my problem with The Avengers and most comic book movies in general. I am of the belief you can intertwine storytelling across media, but each medium needs to be able to hold its own as a product. “Star Wars” is a great example. You have the Clone Wars cartoon, the six movies, the Ewok saga, video games galore, and each of these things helps to expand and flesh out the universe Star Wars exists in. However, by and large, you can take each product as an individual product and enjoy it for what it is.

I am probably in the vast minority going into The Avengers completely blind, but that doesn’t mean one shouldn’t be able to view this movie with no frame of reference and understand what is happening. And I couldn’t. I inferred from the various articles I read that Samuel L Jackson was Nick Fury. I could only conjecture he ran some sort of government operation. I had no idea how to feel about Cobie Smulders. I had no clue whatsoever what Scarlett Johansson and Jeremy Renner have to do with anything. I don’t even know what movie they were in. 

This isn’t specific to The Avengers or even comic book movies, but I think this is something you see more often in comic book movies with a rabid fan base than other genres. You have to make a movie to please fans, yes, but the expectation that the rest of cares that much is presumptuous and makes for lazy storytelling.

::carts soap box away::