So lady friends of mine—we have to talk. Today, I learned that any of you who watch The Bachelorette have been keeping something very important from me. His name is Marquel Martin. He is apparently a sports sponsorship salesman living in Las Vegas who loves to watch Netflix, drink wine, and eat cookies.

If you are single, I do not blame you for keeping this from me. It is a tough world for single gals and you have to hide the honey pot when you find it. To those of you happily married or in relationships, shame on you!

THE MAN LOVES COOKIES. COOKIES!

As I have said to anyone who will listen, chocolate chip cookies are truly the best dessert in the world unless you count cookie cake, which adds frosting to the otherwise flawless concoction.  The more I learned about this Bachelorette contestant, the more I wondered why you all dislike me so much that you would not fill me in on his existence.  Do you want me to die alone? Do I not deserve this happiness? Do any of you know me at all?

He is a former UNLV football player. He lives in the same town as me. And cookies! And wine! And look at his charming smile. We could spend our Friday night cruising Netflix, our Saturday catching all the college football games, and our Sundays with the NFL and planning our awesome wedding with cookie cake wedding cake.

I have no idea what crazy Bachelorette Andi was thinking sending this man home, but I will tell you this—I have two oaths I will swear here and now on this blog:

1. I will add Marquel to the list with Aaron Turner of Las Vegas-based reality contestants I will find if it is the last thing I do.

2. Yo, ABC, if you make this guy the next Bachelor, I will 100% watch the show even though I have never watched any of your previous 17 seasons.

If you’ll excuse me, I need to go get a cookie and see about a fella.