Voracious Cultural Consumption: Day 2

After the tribute to cultural excess that was Thursday, Friday was a little more in line with how much TV I actually watch in a day.  What can I say? Sometimes I go a little crazy.

9:12AM: Project Runway All Stars

We need to talk about two things. First, can we talk about how Kara Janx of Season 2 has some sort of weird affectation where she pushes her lips out when she tries to talk about “her craft”? Cause it happened in Season 2 and it is happening again here.  How is this the sole representative from such a strong season of designers? Santino’s a fame whore, where’s his invitation? Nick Verreos? Daniel Vosovic? Hell, I’d take Daniel Franco for a third time if it meant I didn’t have to handle Kara Janx again.

Second: Michael Costello.  I have this problem more often with Top Chef than Project Runway, but how can both his Season 8 and his All Star competitors bag on this guy so much when he wins so often?  I don’t think it is jealously.  I genuinely believe they think he sucks, I am just not seeing the evidence to back it up.  Same problem with Kevin Gillespie in Top Chef: Las Vegas.  The Voltaggios constantly referenced his “simple” foods, but they always looked delicious to me, mostly because they almost always contained pork.

9:53AM: Hart of Dixie

Say what you will about how absurd the premise of this show is, but once you buy into the concept, this shit is damned entertaining.  Plus, Levon Hayes.  Google Levon Hayes, YouTube Levon Hayes, do what you need to do to make Levon Hayes part of your cultural life.  Thank me later.

10:42AM: Once Upon a Time

This is the strange thing about my love for Once Upon a Time.  I hate Jennifer Morrison as an actress.  There is something about her I find completely unlikable, and veering from her brown locks in “House” to the hideously fake blonde hair she sported on “How I Met Your Mother” and this show do her no favors.

I also do not enjoy Ginnifer Goodwin as an actress for pretty much the same reasons.  One of these days, I’ll sum up my distaste a little better, but to put it succinctly, I find both of their acting styles to be very whiny.  I get one note from them most of the time, which bothers me.

Thankfully, their respective notes work in this show, which has gotten increasingly clever about weaving the fairy tale and real world together, thankfully resulting in some compelling storylines and, more importantly, less Morrison screen time.

11:34AM: Downton Abbey

I know. Period drama? But it isn’t a boring stuffy period drama.  It is Revenge or Gossip Girl, but with petticoats and Maggie Smith.  Don’t believe me? Try it before you knock it, dude.

12:27PM: Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Battle of the Exes

I have long ago given up on watching the shows that feed into the Challenge, but this athletic marvel which is now in what I think is its 25th season (no joke) is the guiltiest of my guilty pleasures.  As Bill Simmons and Dave Jacoby have pointed out, it should be America’s fifth major sport.  

Speaking of, if you’re a Challenge fan and haven’t checked out Grantland’s sabermetrics of the Challenge, it really is a must read.

Side note–on commercial break of this, I happened to catch a piece of Mulan.  That song “Reflection” really is underrated.

1:02PM: The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s Nest

I had about 40 pages left of the last book in the Millennium trilogy, so I finished it and was pretty happy with how things wrapped up.  Now I have to watch the second two Swedish flicks and hope David Fincher figures out a way to make the other English movies as good as they are.

2:15PM: What Not To Wear

Sometimes when I am at the gym, I stumble upon some reasonable entertainment while on the elliptical.  Sometimes I even schedule my gym trips around when something is on TV.  You won’t believe how many calories I burned in the five days ABC family showed a Harry Potter Movie a night.

Anyways, I was flipping through the channels and what do I stumble upon?? Mayim Bilayik aka Blossom submitting herself to the condescending eyes of the delightful Clinton Kelly and Stacy London on “What Not to Wear.”  Girl needed some help too.  I remember seeing her on some show and thinking “Gee, Blossom let herself go.”  Little did I know she was dressing in a way that made her look 40 pounds heavier than she actually is.

Stacy and Clinton made a lot of progress, but Biyalik still has some pretty bizarre and unflattering taste.  It was nice to see famous people are as incapable as I am of dressing themselves stylishly.

5:32PM: 9 to 5

So, when people raved about “Bridesmaids”, the movie I expected to see was this.  I have never seen 9 to 5 before, but having watched it, I can now tell you that this is the smart comedy featuring women we claim doesn’t exist.  Contrary to popular belief, it is not the crappy movie that came out last year that featured a woman deficating on herself in the middle of the street.

It also features Dolly Parton, which automatically means it will forever be cooler than “Bridesmaids” as she is pretty much the greatest entertainer in the whole wide world.  I knew that though.  What I didn’t know was just how much I would enjoy this movie, in particular the performance of Lily Tomlin.  I’ve always respected the woman as a performer, but this is a reminder to me that there are plenty of works from her heyday that I am missing out on, and that needs to be remedied.

9:00PM: Jabba Wockeez

Now, this is not a TV show, but my first big stage show in Las Vegas deserves mentioning, as it was beyond amazing.  I have been a big fan of the dance troupe for a long time and this was a real treat, especially since we were fortunate enough to score free tickets in the fourth row.

12:41AM: Gossip Girl, Season 2

The TV in my room is an old tube TV, so when I go to bed and want to watch something, it is typically something from my DVD collection.  I get to unwind at night with some familiar fare, the latest of which is a revisiting of the second season of Gossip Girl.  The episodes I’m currently plowing through feature the downfall of Little Jenny Humphrey and, since my Taylor Momsen schadenfreude rivals that of the contempt most people feel towards the Kardashians, I find these episodes particularly rewatchable.

Oh dear.  I tried to pawn Day 1 off as an anomaly, but once again I spent six hours parked in front of my TV today.  I guess that is pretty standard.  Can I get away with justifying that I work at home and can’t be convinced to do athletic activity at the gym unless entertainment is involved?


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